The God of my understanding was scary and threatening. Basked in sin and steeped in abuse, I was not worthy of God’s grace. I prayed and he did not listen. He did not stop the incessant screaming and violence, so I was forced to constantly run away. Hidden in the woods behind our ‘new money’ castle I discovered the joy of swinging on vines, seesawing on logs and creating boats out of leaves that journeyed downstream. At the time I was not aware that their God was false. Dressed up and packaged well to be revered only on Sundays, while the waves of torment crashed down among us for the remainder of the week. I had not understood that the true God found me, saved me and kept me safe in her beautiful bounty. Nature was my solace and still is to this day.
Sobriety was a necessity as my generational trauma soon became that of my own making. Riddled with shame and despair I drank to blot out the pain. Stepping into a new sober world was frightening, especially as God was the star of this show called recovery. “Ok,” I resigned. “There’s nothing left for me out there.” Much to my surprise I was encouraged to find a new God. I was asked to write this powerful force a help wanted ad that includes tomes such as ‘unconditional love’ and ‘infinite understanding.’ While this concept sounded hopeful, I found it almost impossible. How was I to feel and understand this comfort and ease without ever having experienced it in my life? I kept praying anyway. These people seemed happy and perhaps something would shift.
My world blossomed before my eyes the day I discovered Tarot. Divination had long been labeled an abomination by church. It felt naughty and mysterious until I started to understand the truth that lived here. On these seventy-eight cards lived human archetypes, spiritual teachings with a wealth of knowledge and answers from the unknown.
Currently working in a world that I do not quite understand I constantly feel a pull to another path. It has been confirmed to me in recent months that my gifts are not to be taken for granted and that my direct channel to Spirit through Tarot needs to be magnified. It feels overwhelming. Changing direction in this time of chaos? Perhaps timed just perfectly. A metaphysical mentor suggested I put together an itinerary to help me get started. I started with the Ace of Wands. While studying the Major Arcana has its merits, I wanted to start to pull apart the underdogs of the deck to illuminate their significance. “Is this the right path?” I inquired? That daily card pull, just like a magic trick, landed the Ace of Wands on my desk. I giggled as the Creative Intelligence rarely speaks so clearly.
Not only was I given a sign to deepen my studies of tarot, art and truth, but the Ace of Wands has special significance all its own. The Wands are the cards of fire. It’s where passion, creativity, and spirituality play. It often highlights our talents or tries to wake up our Shadow Side where dreams run free. The Ace of Wands is the card of enterprise and new beginnings. Like a firefly on a cool summer night, as it crosses the field to meet your gaze the glow gets brighter with each glance in its direction. It’s the other world recognizing your divinity. You are seen. Your talents are recognized as they help to blow on the embers of your inner fire. This card tells you without a shadow of a doubt that you ARE enough. More than enough. You are created in the force’s reflection, but unfortunately those codes have been twisted and mangled throughout antiquity. It is a glimmer of hope to have you return to your knowing and your radiance. If you have pulled the Ace of Wands take a moment to bask in its glow. You are so very loved, even if you cannot feel it. The spirits are calling you home.
If you have pulled this card recently try asking yourself the following questions:
Where do my passions lie?
Am I on the right path?
Am I living in my power?
What are my Goddess-given talents?
How do I build a life that brings me harmony and joy?